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ASK MAX

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Archive for August, 2005

August 28, 2005 Edition

Sunday, August 28th, 2005

Dear Max:

I think you are adorable! We have a problem and hope you can help. We are planning a family vacation to Costa Rica and we are having trouble with our bachelor brother. (He is always a problem!) Each year we have a family vacation and even though we are an odd (and some might say embarrassing)assortment of characters, we always enjoy ourselves on these trips! This year, as usual, our brother will not commit! He currently has a charming girlfriend who he is crazy about. We would love to have her join us. Do you think his reluctance to sign on for the trip is his usual lack of commitment or could it be that he is embarrassed by his family?

Little Sister

Dear Little Sister,

Everybody gets embarrassed by their family. Just today my mom pulled my leash to continue our walk when I was *totally* macking on a hot Maltese. She wanted me. Anyway, you can’t help the embarrassing thing—it’s what families do, but you CAN just take him with you. When I don’t want to go somewhere my mom takes me anyway. Do they make Sherpa Totes for people? If they do, just put him in there and tell him to zip his lip.

Dear Max:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

Curious Cathy

Dear Curious,

That is a very important question that would require a substantial amount of research to discern the correct answer. You’ll have to supply me with *several* boxes of those pops so I can properly answer your question. Please send them a.s.a.p.

August 18, 2005 Edition

Thursday, August 18th, 2005

Dear Max:

Why do they sell hot dogs in packs of 8 and buns in packs of 10?

Equal Meat/Bun Ratio Seeker

Hi Seeker,

This is perhaps the easiest question ever. The two extra buns are obviously so you can feed them to your friendly neighborhood dog while you eat your own hot dog. Sharing is only fair. That’s a gimme. Now, gimme those extra buns!

Dear Max:

I am at the eye doctor in the middle of an eye exam, and I had to come out and ask you … which is clearer — 1 or 2? Again, 1 or 2?

Myopic Miranda

Dear Miranda,

I hate the doctor! Thank God you got out! Quick! Keep going before they catch you!

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