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ASK MAX

September 5, 2005 Edition

Dear Max:

What is your owner/partner/ mother’s (aka Caprice) worst dating story? I’m dying to know … but no names please.

Someone who actually may already know

Dear Someone,

I asked my mom. It seems she’s been through years of therapy to try to block them out…however, she did start incoherently rambling about…being forced to walk 2 miles in high heels for Ethiopian food, having to fend off attacks on her dinner plate from one guy who seemed determined to consume both of their meals, being called on by another guy to referee his recent awful break-up with his ex, and having to deposit one drunk and passed out date at the feet of his parents by opening the passenger side door of her car and unceremoniously shoving him out.

Dear Max:

How many galaxies are there in the Universe? I often look up at the night sky and begin the count, I find that; I either get interupted or lose count and have to start all over again… I need your help. I think I might be developing a form of OCD, so as soon as you can answer, I’ll be able to move on to other important unanswerable questions.

Waver

Dear Waver,

As always, Max is here to help. Let’s start with the Milky Way…now, let’s move on to the Snickers. Wait a sec—chocolate is bad for dogs. So then…let’s stick to the Payday. (All peanuts.) But, you asked about galaxies…and problems with counting. I too know this obsession. Every day I count the moments before dinner. And by my calculations it should come much sooner.

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