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ASK MAX

October 12, 2005 Edition

Dear Max:

If I have sex with women I openly dislike, just because they offer, does that make me a sex addict? Or does it possibly say something worse?

Damaged…?

Dear Damaged…?,

I’d say it makes you lucky! Why are these women not getting the vibe that you openly dislike them? Do they want what they can’t have? And more troubling are you only happy having what you don’t want? If it makes you happy – go for it – but be careful… you don’t want to have kids with a woman you openly dislike. You know how they say, “If you think she’s neat, wrap your meat?” I’d have to add, “If you’d rather club her, wear a rubber.”

Dear Max:

What is “normal”? And why?

Flummoxed in Flatbush

Dear Flummoxed,

Normal? Say a preponderance of people eat three times a day – with snacks in between. Three is normal. Why? Because it’s standard. It’s what most people get. What then would you call two meals a day of about two handfuls of dry kibble each with the occasional lick of a spoon or errant pistashio snatched off the floor? Abnormal. Not to mention mean.

Dear Max:

I have a girlfriend who regularly points out my flaws, so I can work on them. Sometimes it is annoying, although I know deep down that she may be right on a specific point. Am I just being hyper-sensitive?

A Positive Puppy

Dear Positive,

Does she balance the criticism with positive reinforcement? If not then I have another flaw of yours to point out – bad taste in women. If she’s kind about it and balances her complaints with compliments, then maybe it’s manageable. My mom complains when I chew up garbage, eat used bandaids off the street and relieve myself in the living room. And she’s got a point. But in between, I get so much love that I don’t mind a little constructive criticism once in a while. If you stay with this girl, just make sure there’s more stroking than swatting.

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