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ASK MAX

December 01, 2005 Edition

Dear Max:

During my recent visit to New York, with it’s brisk breezes, I experienced a sensation that has niggled me since. Why do man people have nipples?

San Diego Brabbeler

Dear Brabbeler,

On the assumption that everything is there for a reason, and Mother Nature isn’t simply messing with man persons, I have two possible theories: 1) so men can tell when it’s very cold out, without dropping their drawers, or 2) to simplify the sex change operation for transsexuals.

Dear Max:

Do you think Hollywood should continue trying to adapt stage shows into movies?

Former Triple Threat

Dear Former Triple,

My personal opinion on this will carry much less weight than economic history. Stage shows translated to the big screen have had a very mixed record at the box office. And although I’ve never seen a play or a movie at a theater, I’d think the reason is obvious: The actors get really tired running around to all of those movie theaters performing 6 shows a day.

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